Too many of us get stuck on something that went wrong in our lives. You should focus on what went right. Appreciating what you do have, is the most sane thing you can do, especially when things are going wrong. It is a shift in focus, that can help you make it through.
Too often people lose their minds or want to give up at the sound of the trap. The trap could be an accident or the death of a loved one or the burning of your house or business. When this happens, we feel that we have lost it all. This can include, the loss of a relationship.
The trap is that we have been mis-educated into thinking that there are no accidents, that life is supposed to flow smoothly. The minute you or your child gets pinned by a car in an accident, you lose it as though no accidents are supposed to happen. But sometimes accidents bring you back to life, in that you appreciate each other even more. After the accident you spend more time together. And this includes quality time.
If someone you love dies, needless to say, you suddenly appreciate the person’s presence in your life a lot. The same thing happens when celebrities die. Suddenly, we begin to voice out loud, how much their existence meant to us. There are those who now say, do not focus on a large, fancy funeral for me; appreciate me while I am here.
When you lose your home or business to a fire, you think of many negative things. Why is everything gone? I can not replace what was lost. Photographs are irreplaceable. If you are an artist, you know how hard it is to replicate a poem you did not memorize or a CD in the works, or a whole album you worked so hard for. If you are en entrepreneur, you know how hard it is to recreate client records.
When things like this go wrong, the negative thoughts surface. But instead you should focus on what went right and what you do have. At the sight of an accident you should say, well, I lost a limb, but I still have most of me. I can still make a difference in the world. You should say, we lost so and so but so and so survived. It may sound cruel but we have to make a habit of feeling grateful. Gratitude is the best survival mechanism that I know of. When a loved one dies, appreciate the memories you had together. Make sense out of the senseless. Create order out of chaos in your own head. When you lose a lover, boyfriend or girlfriend, tell yourself it was not meant to be. You have to keep going. Time cures a feeling of deep loss, so get busy and stay busy. Do not drive yourself crazy.
When you lose something you focus on the loss. But instead you should focus on what you do have. Someone wants what you have. Someone wish they had your hair, your intellect, your physique, your insight. Someone somewhere wish they had your house, your job or your career. You need a shift, a mind shift – a change in focus.
copyright Mercedes Hawkins 2014